Pasta with only 7.7 cals per 100g? Slim chance of eating again!!

Tags

5:2, Fast diet, slim pasta

Finally curiosity got the better of me, and I purchased a packet of Slim Pasta.

Never heard of it? Neither had I until a few weeks ago. But some of the ladies on the 5:2 Facebook group swear blind that this pasta is the best way of filling up whilst on a fast day.

So, my verdict.

Upon opening the packet, my initial reaction was not great. To be honest, it sort of looked a bit like an octopus had died and been snipped up into little, floppy, unappetising pieces. This was compounded by the fact that I’d paid over £2 for the pleasure (a vaguely terrifying price to be honest, but I was eager to give it a go.)

I resolved to not judge a (highly unattractive) book by it’s cover, and ploughed on with cooking. Regrettably, heating it did nothing to improve it’s appearance. My stomach lurched in uneasy anticipation.

I served it with a simple sauce of tomatoes and chilli and got stuck in.

Hmm. What can I say? There isn’t much positive that I can comment on here. It had the consistency of a badly cooked slice of silly putty, the flavour of a mildly distasteful and flavourless piece of soggy fabric and was generally completely inedible.

After soldiering through half a bowl of the odious stuff, I pushed my plate away, beaten. It was either that, or vomit all over it. Seriously, if someone had forced me to have just one more bite I think I would have happily poked both their eyes out and wrestled them to the ground, rather than consume it. It was that bad.

The positives? Well, it filled me up. But come 3pm, I was hungry again. Clearly, the body is NOT fooled by a calorie free product, even if it appears bulky.

My recommendation? No matter how much of a ‘carb’ person you are…don’t do it! Fill up on yummy green veg instead.

Beating the Recession and photographic evidence of FAST Diet results!

Tags

5:2, betty paige, Fast diet, food, recession

The Recession.

It’s an ugly, sneaky little word somehow, isn’t it. It sort of slips sibilantly off the tongue in a vaguely indecent way, like rancid oil leaking out of a pipe. Recession. Recession.

Enough verbosity. I’ve had ENOUGH of the recession. End of. I’ve had enough of seeing THIS.

Yet another ‘To Let’ sign on the high street and yet another business vanished in a puff of recessional smoke. As a small business owner myself (www.pipsgarden.co.uk) its disheartening, to say the least. I watch giants such as Woolworths, Blockbusters and HMV struggle, falter and threaten to crumble and I think to myself; what chance do I have, a mere minnow of a company, when the behemoths fail? 

However, one thing I WILL say for myself, is I’m good in a recession. I may not like it, but I am a master at budgeting and sniffing out a bargain. One of our real life savers during these ‘belt-tightening’ months has been a site called http://www.approvedfood.co.uk.

Approved Food ticks my mental boxes on a few levels actually.

Firstly – it has a lot, and I mean a LOT of bargains. (and we’ve managed to buy obsene amounts of chocolate on there for really not much money at all, which to me, is a high priority in life.)

Secondly – the ethos behind the company is that it is essentially selling food that otherwise would have been thrown away. Yep, that’s right folks, some of it is out of date! But when you read up on it and absorb the actual facts of the matter, you swiftly realise that the ‘Best Before’ date actually means very little. There is plenty of stuff that can be MONTHS out of its best before date, and still be perfectly edible.

So hoorah, a company that is not only thriving in the recession, but is actually providing a really valuable service – namely reducing the appalling amount of food waste that occurs in this country.

It’s sort of permeated into other avenues of our lives actually. We now find ourselves thinking twice before binning the end piece of bread on a loaf. Hey, smear a bit of garlic puree, butter and dried parsley on it, whack it under the grill and it makes a cracking bit of garlic bread to have with a spaghetti bolognaise! We now find ourselves using half a pepper and bagging the rest for another day, eating leftovers for lunch in the strangest combinations (it still can’t beat my ‘leftover curry sandwiches’ that I used to have for breakfast during my university days though…yeech…) and generally just being massively more aware about waste.

So there you go, at least the recession forces us to reflect a bit on the way we live our lives.

Talking about wasting…I feel that I have been literally wasting away these last few days, with this vile lingering stomach bug. However, it has kicked me down to a size 8, which is the first time I’ve seen that size in many many years, and I know how people like a bit of photographic evidence…so here goes!

I know its not nearly so much fun without the ‘before’ piccie – but take my word for it, the wobbles and flab were MUCH worse a couple of months ago, and joking about tummy bugs aside, most of this was due to the Fast Diet. So there you go. Obviously I shall now be attempting to just maintain weight, rather than lose any more, as I don’t want to be insanely skinny and start to look ill. 

I will be having a break from fasting this week in fact, as I am attempting to regain a few pounds. So there you go! The scales said 8st 3 this morning, which is just a wee bit too small for my liking. I prefer to be more of a ‘Betty Paige’ kinda gal, than a waifish Kate Moss!

My figure inspiration! (and I have serious Betty Paige hair jealousy too – but I just got to accept it, that fringe may look awesome on her, but would make me look like I was wearing a badly shaped acorn shell over my forehead.)

Who needs fasting when you’ve got gastroenteritis?

Tags

5:2, fasting, illness, tummy bug

Firstly, may I start this blog with a serious GROAN.

That is the full-throated, guttural, despairing groan of an individual who has endured a ridiculously long and lingering tummy bug, by the way.

I found it interesting to note, whilst experiencing this six day torment, the progressive emotional stages of illness. I hadn’t really noticed before.

Firstly, there is the phase I like to refer to as the cheery phase. The ‘ah, it’s only a bug, plenty of things worse in the world…at least fasting is easy today!’ and accompanied by lots of stoic, brave-hearted laughter and mock-weary rollings of eyes etc.

That phase, I noted, ended fairly promptly. It ended at about the same time that I was hit with the realisation that it wasn’t just a 24 hour thing and that I’d have to endure it for longer, and thus not be able to eat chocolate or drink booze for over a day long period. What swiftly followed was then the quietly pissed off stage. The stage of basically being in a sulk about it, but trying to conceal it, as you’ve already made such a big deal about being all brave and noble the day before.

The third phase was the misery phase, when the bug really kicked in, and suddenly, forced fasting seemed VERY unappealing indeed, especially when everything that went in seemed to just flow out again almost instantaneously, and this was then followed by the rage filled phase, of shaking weak and drained limbs to the heavens and silently mouthing ‘why me, god? Why? WHY??’

Basically, it sucks, doesn’t it. Being poorly sucks. Four days of feeling like a wrung out cramp-riddled mess, and yes, the advantage is, it does make those fasting days super easy…but actually, I don’t like it! I don’t like it one little bit. Fasting is NO FUN AT ALL when you’ve no choice in the matter!

A TOUGH fasting day. (blame the flat pack.)

Tags

5:2, baby, Fast diet

Phew. Today was the first day since doing the fast diet that I really struggled.

All day, various awful temptations were calling to me, in increasingly loud, more insistent tones. At the local play barn this morning, my boys wanted a cookie for a snack. That actually wasn’t the hard bit.

The hard bit was resisting the leftovers, as they sat all temptingly on the table.

I am pleased to report, I resisted. But I was dribbling a bit.

I also managed to ignore the repeated siren call of the Celebrations chocolates sitting in the fridge. Damn you, http://www.approvedfood.co.uk for making your chocolates so irresistibly reasonably priced! Damn my natural instinct to buy a ‘bargain’, regardless of it’s nature!!

When the boys left some their pizza this tea time though, I will admit, I VERY NEARLY CAVED IN.

It was a super home made one, and what’s more, it was on home made bread, which for me, is a complete temptation. I threw the leftovers in the bin, and did feel actual grief. Honest to god, I was almost weeping as I watched those sad little bits of deliciousness disappear into the billowing confines of the rubbish bag.

What is to blame for this tough day, eh? Well, in short, I level the blame firmly on the flat pack bunk bed.

I hated flat packs before. I have a loathing of them that borders on psychotic now. I could quite happily get a chainsaw and maniacally hack the whole things to shreds as punishment, though thankfully, I still have just enough presence of mind to remember that it is an inanimate object, and not the Anti-Christ. (Though if Satan himself were to have a physical form, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it was a piece of flat pack furniture.)

Thanks to the evil flat pack, we were still trying to assemble it at 11pm last night. We only got half way through.

Tonight, we soldiered on. But I was blaming it. I was blaming it fully for my day of suffering, for maliciously making me so tired that I nearly broke, and gobbled up an entire fridge.

But- the good news? I’m through it. I’m about to eat a modest, 125 cal tea, and have a glass of wine, and yes, that is still within the cal count. And then, I’m going to bed in the biggest irrational hump ever and dreaming of eating my way through a small nation’s worth of foods tomorrow.

Bring it on!

Talking babies, fasting and the DREADED FLATPACK.

Tags

5:2, babies, diet, Fast diet, flat pack furniture

Ugh. I loathe flat pack furniture.

Now, before I hear a chorus of ‘but its better for the environment, less packaging, less waste etc etc’; yes, I do appreciate that. I’m a passionate eco-warrior myself (well, sort of) and I went through the whole ‘using cloth nappies, even though they leaked every ten minutes’ thing for TWO YEARS. Seriously, I was dedicated, even in the face of adversity. I’ve proven my worth.

However, there is some rebellious part of me that rebels against flat pack furniture.

And today, I was presented with my nemesis. The ultimate in horrific, god-awful flat pack furniture. A bunk bed. (not even a simple bunk bed either. No no. We went the whole hog and ordered one with an EXTRA trundle bed underneath AND drawers. Gluttons for punishment, that’s what we are.)

It seriously did not aid the situation when the delivery man turned up with one HUGE box; far too sizeable to fit through the front door; dumped it on the pavement, then drove off. Poor OH had to leap outside, armed with a kitchen knife, gazing furtively up and down the street like a jungle tribesman, scanning the terrain for enemies.

Yes, I admit, myself and my business partner proceeded to watch with amusement from the lounge window, as he attempted to hack into it, with little success. Eventually, I went outside and helped. But only eventually.

Things were not helped either by having to carry every single sodding component separately up the stairs. This process wasn’t endearing me to the whole thing at all.

I then fished out the instructions (you know that moment, you know what I’m talking about, fellow sufferers) and gazed, with rising panic, at the incomprehensible instructions and completely meaningless diagrams which didn’t tally up to the items in front of me at all. The bunk bed came from Poland too – so you can imagine the sort of language on this document. There were a few words going through my brain at this point. The main one though, was SHIT. Oh Bother. That was it. Oh bother. Ahem.

I’ve not progressed further than counting the screws out yet. And yes, you guessed it, there is one missing. One of the big ones too – one of the ones that looks as though its a seriously weight bearing screw, without which the whole bunk might come crashing down. Hmm. I’ll keep you updated.

On a completely different subject matter – DB2 is talking! I know, I know, not that exciting for anyone else apart from the parents of DB2, but none the less, I shall bore you with it. Briefly. I had forgotten how cute it was when they learn to speak! Except he does rather overuse the phrase ‘Hello Mummy’. Every time he enters the room – ‘hello mummy’. Every time he walks past me, ‘hello mummy’. Every time I attempt to sneak off to use the loo, the door swings open, and there I hear it again. ‘Hello Mummy!’

And of course – the fasting thing. (this seems to be what everyone really wants to hear about. I think all the rest is just considered as waffle by most, which is of course, entirely correct.)

Fasting thing is now in its 4th week (I think!) and results are still impressive! The weight loss total is 8lb – I think I’m plateauing out now, but that is cool, as I’m none too heavy really, and too much weight-loss on a lady over 30 is NOT a good look. Less heroin-chic, more rancid old mutton.

I still feel like a totally different person in terms of energy and positivity; and yes, I do still totally pig out on rubbish on my non fasting days. I think that’s what I really like about this diet – I can see myself still doing it in several years time, as just a way of life, much like my vegetarianism. Because its just not really a hardship at all. On the evening of a fast, I d get a bit peckish, and yearn for a big old bar of chocolate; but its easy to resist, because I know I can tuck in the day after!

However, someone recently said to me they weren’t feeling the benefits of the energy at all yet – which maybe proves that this is something that doesn’t work for everyone. My business partner has also stopped doing it now, as she felt worse on it. So I feel I should report this as well – as it wouldn’t be fair to make out its a miracle cure when some others have not had positive experiences on it.

BUT – there are plenty of ladies I know who are doing it, and loving it. It’s nice to know lots of people doing it, for the moral support and also to share low cal recipes!

 

 

The Builders Are In…

Tags

builders, Building, stress

What was that list of ‘most stressful things in life’ again?

Divorce and death were definitely numbers one and two, but I have a sneaking suspicion that high up on that list (at least top 10) is having the builders in.

Our builders are really nice.

It’s really exciting that finally we’ll have:
- A shower that works.
- A tap that doesn’t fall off when you look at it the wrong way. (seriously, it was alarmingly temperamental.)
- a kitchen that isn’t a complete mess of hanging wires and exposed pipes.
- a house that isn’t so damp that the slugs literally have an effing party on our dining room carpet every night.

HOWEVER.

IT IS STRESSFUL.

Massively, massively stressful.

The first stress was sorting out the house in readiness. Emptying the boy’s room, as it was being replastered (the chunks missing and the flock wallpaper weren’t too hot a look). Clearing the kitchen and bathroom. Trying to prevent DB2 from pulling the microwave off the coffee table (it’s new, precarious storage place.) Also trying to stop him from eating ALL the snacks, because he now has incredibly easy access to the snack basket. Uh oh.

The second stress was trying to adapt to the temporary nomadic existence. The inlaws have kindly put us up for the week, but their work commitments mean the boys need to be out of the house. Which means me, commuting each day to take DB1 to his preschool, then entertaining DB2 all day, with no home to retreat to.

Sounds easy? You try changing a rank, pooey nappy on the front seat of your car, then having to endure the stench, due to the fact that it’s pissing it down outside and you can’t unwind the windows.

The third stress…trying to cope with work whilst having nowhere to work from.

One word…. ARGH!!

Still, we’re half way through. There is a light at the end of the unsettling, unnerving tunnel.

The Fast Diet: And one important question…!

Tags

5:2, Fast diet, the smiths

I am now starting my fourth week on the Fast Diet.

For those who are still not quite sure what this entails (though I’m sure you will have heard of the name at least, as ‘fast’ mania seems to be sweeping the nation!), the premise is very simple. Eat normally, except for two days a week, where you limit your calorie intake to 500 calories per day. (or 600 if you are a lucky man. Hmmph.)

Now, I am very much aware that, in our image obsessed society, it is not a great thing to continually harp on about weight. After all, there are people in the world who would probably dearly LOVE to be able to do something as frivolous as diet, rather than worrying on a daily basis where their next meal is coming from. That is why I’m choosing rather deliberately to veer off the ‘weight’ thing and instead, focus on the health thing. I will say though, for those who are looking for a successful weight loss diet, then my experience of it so far has been positive. I have shed 8lb in just over 3 weeks, and bought a pair of size 8 jeans at the weekend (£10 in the sale at Urban outfitters- bargain!! And flares! Hooray! My life is complete. I love flares.) For anyone who needs to lose dramatic amounts, this is definitely the way to go.

But what’s really floated my boat has been the energy. I cannot tell you how much I am enjoying having energy again. Ok, so there is still the odd day where the boys wear me out and I feel knackered, but I feel in general as though I’ve been given a new lease of life. I was playing with the boys yesterday actually, racing round the house with them; and I found myself thinking.. a few weeks ago, I would not have been able to do this. I would have been desperately trying to, but flagging behind after just a few minutes, feeling exhausted.

(Energetic, and not a tin of spinach in sight. How’s that for a result!)

I’ve also been reading the official book recently (lent to me by my business partner, thanks mate!) with great interest. Obviously, the book discusses a lot of the science behind the diet, and exactly why its a bit of a revolution.

As I was reading it, I found myself thinking about my psychological response to the fast days. It was quite interesting.

I find myself actually looking forward to the fast days. Which, if you think about it, is odd. Why on earth, would I look forward to depriving myself of all the things I enjoy? The haribo? The chocolate? The various other awful bits of crap that I pop unthinkingly into my mouth on a very regular basis?

Then I was reminded of a quote from a song by The Smiths.

‘Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?’

And that kind of answered it for me. Part of the challenge of this diet is gaining mastery over your body, about not being a slave to capricious yearnings for fatty foods etc. In short – I am enjoying the challenge!

As per usual, the gospel according to Morrissey sums it up perfectly. Ha ha!!

Having a break?!?

Tags

baby, exhaustion, mum, toddler, working mum

I read a blog with interest this morning; the post was written by a father, who was definitely ‘keeping it real’ when talking about looking after 3 children under the age of 5.

Now, I obviously only have the two, but I could really relate to the overall sentiment. The joy of being with your kids at all times, of experiencing the silly (sometimes hilarious) things they do, the delight of doing activities together… combined with the wrenching, grinding exhaustion of being with them 24/7.

It got me thinking. (As I do, when I get the time.) In particular, it struck a chord, due to the AWFUL day I had yesterday. Allow me to fill you in.

I was aware that yesterday was going to be a tough one. The business had been going hugely well (obviously fantastic news) and we had a lot of orders to fulfil. Normally, we’d organise that so that we didn’t interfere too much with time with the kids. However, the sheer volume of orders meant that we HAD to do them whilst the kids were around. Simply no choice in the matter.

I’d fortunately planned a visit to a play barn in the morning with a good friend from Dorset and her girls; so in my head, I thought I’d feel ok about  expecting them to entertain themselves in the afternoon. After all, a good morning racing around a play barn, (with me very much on hand, racing around with them, lots of mummy time!) should then wear them out enough that they would then be content to play quietly, whilst business partner and I frantically waded through the orders upstairs.

This game plan initially worked well. The boys opted for a bit of TV (yes, I know, shoot me now, I showed them the…wait for it…box of evil, or so many mummies will tell you…BAH) and business partner and I sweated it out upstairs. For about an hour, this was brilliant. We were flying through orders and feeling good about it all.

Then it all began to go pear shaped. DB2 started to howl. DB1 got grumpy. DB2 broke the DVD player. DB1 howled, because he wanted to watch a DVD. DB2 howled because I told him off for breaking the DVD player. DB1 howled because I wasn’t paying attention to him. (too busy shouting about the DVD player…)

Yet still I ploughed on, trying to gift wrap whilst hearing the heart rending sobbing of DB2, poised at the stairgate and hitting his fists against it, bellowing his heart out.

(Very reminiscent of that scene in The Graduate – you know, the one where Dustin Hoffman is desperately beating the glass, bellowing ‘Elaine!!!’ That was DB2. Exactly that. Substitute ‘Elaine!!’ for ‘MARMEEEE!!!’ and you’ve got it.)

After another 2 hours of it, we were all exhausted. The boys were emotionally overwraught, I was an exhausted wreck (yes, I was fasting that day too – doh!) and by evening time, I was actually too tired to speak. Except unfortunately, I then had more work to get on with, with my freelancing. Jeez!

Sadly, all this activity does have a negative effect, and this is where I really understood what the man from the aforementioned blog was referring to. Complete exhaustion tends to have a knock on effect; and today (the day after this madness) I have just been like a corpse. Took the boys to the museum and the library, but barely felt capable of interacting. I just wanted to sit in a corner and rock, slowly back and forth, like a madman. And of course, with complete predictability, felt horrendously guilty. So attempted to completely overstretch myself and force excitement and interaction, even though I was utterly physically and mentally knackered!

It ain’t the nicest feeling in the world, but sometimes, you have just got to cut yourself some slack. There’s a lot of pressure on mums these days to be perfect. Actually. Scrub that last remark. There’s a lot of pressure on EVERYONE to be perfect. We’re continually bombarded by images of the perfect body, stories of the perfect job, blogs about being the perfect parent – its a wonder we’re not all complete neurotic wrecks.

(oh, but hang on, wait a minute…maybe we are!)

So me writing this, is my naughty little break. I know, I know – bad, isn’t it. It’s a bit of a taboo to be honest. You mean, you allow yourself some time out? (said with same tone of voice as ‘you mean, you let your child eat fishfingers and sausages that aren’t organic?’ ‘you mean, your child doesn’t eat freshly harvested mung beans at least once a week?’ etc etc)

I don’t normally. But this is why I am a complete wreck. So today, I’m waving the white flag and having a ten minute breather.

And that’s it! Ten minutes over.

Feel much better now!

 

Preparing for Holidays and Fast Diet Update!

Tags

Fast diet, holiday, kids, packing, stress

Do you remember the days, before kids, when you went away on a short weekend break?

You’d spend the week before dreaming happily of your nice, relaxing break, no doubt filled with lots of romantic activities (ahem) and all sorts of indulgent treats; sunset walks, eating in posh restuarants, picnics on the beach etc etc.

The morning of your departure, you’d casually throw a few things in a small suitcase, then make your way calmly to the car; feeling on top of the world.

‘Gee, I love you baby! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and life is perfect!’

THEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN.

All of a sudden, the week before becomes a week of DREAD. Long lists start appearing round the house, of things required for the two days away; an endless, frightening list of toys, cots, snacks, clothes to take in case it rains, clothes to take in case the sun shines, clothes in case a freak hurricane blows into the neighbourhood (that one was a joke by the way. But only just.)

The kids start to develop a sinister sixth sense about it all, and make it their sole business to ensure they are as naughty as humanly possible. On the day before departure, suitcases – and I am very much talking in the ridiculous plural here, get packed haphazardly, only to be pulled apart five minutes later via one or both of your offspring. The next hour is then spent retrieving hairdryers and make up from under the bed, and knickers from in the bath. (yes, seriously.)

Incidentally – the threat of ‘we’re not going on holiday if you don’t start behaving’ has zero impact when your intelligent nearly 4 year old and your bonkers nearly 2 year old can quite clearly see you still packing. That was my lesson learnt for today. Nothing stings a parent quite so badly as the horrible knowledge of knowing they’ve just issued a completely pointless threat.

The Reality.

Still – at least it will be a break. She says. Famous last words.

On another note – the Fast Diet is still a definite winner. Yesterday’s fast day was barely a problem at all, I didn’t really feel hungry, even at the end of the day. Plus, I still have lots of energy, which is bliss. I cannot emphasise how long I’ve had zero energy for, so it is such a welcome change to actually feel like I can do stuff without wanting to collapse in a dishevelled, depressed heap in a corner!

The Fast Diet; and by Jove I think I’ve cracked it!

Tags

5:2, Fast diet, working mum

Well, in spite of the odds being heavily stacked against me; I think I’ve finally managed to nail this fasting day thing.

Why were the odds so very much not in my favour, I hear you ask? (Well, I don’t, but I’ll pretend I did.)

Yesterday was really the mother of all crap days. DB2, at around 10am, started developing all the worrying signs of not being a very well boy at all. He sobbed continuously, clung to me like a little bush baby, all wide eyed and sad, then at 4pm, vomited exorbitantly over my entire person.

Fortunately, OH was working from home and could answer my desperate bleatings for help, as I sat on the sofa, drenched in vile smelling bile, whilst suspending a weeping Db2 and not really knowing quite where to start.

We then got one of the most disturbed nights we’ve had in a while, as a boiling hot youngest son wailed, sweated, then eventually snuggled up in our bed, clinging to my hand morosely, before waking, all perky at 4:45am, and making it abundantly clear that he felt much better and was all ready for breakfast.

Or else.

I was the one who trooped down with him in those wee small hours ( and yes, I confess, I gave him 5 bowls of Shreddies, but honestly, he just wouldn’t stop crying!) which of course, did not set me up at all well for a day of fasting.

Especially as we had a heavy day of work lined up as well. Yeech.

However, in spite of all these potential pitfalls, it went very well.

Mainly due to planning.

I actually bothered to pre-prepare lunch, and popped lots of veg in the slow cooker, with a bit of stock and some paprika. Simple, but barely any calories, and filling!

Breakfast was a couple of crackers and a light smear of cinnamon paste, then I enjoyed the aforementioned lunch. It wasn’t too bad actually!

Tea was a real success though. Mountains of rocket with a quern fillet, which only came in at 90 calories. So yes, I confess, had a glass of wine.

And the biggest result of all…I still have enough calories left over for 5 haribo sweets!

My life is complete!

And, I don’t know if this is because of the diet, but despite my crap night’s sleep, and hard days work, I don’t feel too knackered. Hooray!