O what a night!
If, at the sight of this innocuous title, your head is instantly filled with that popular little disco tune… I should emphasise that the sentiments and ambiance of that track do not apply to this post.
Rather, if I was setting last night to music, it would be a more sombre, dramatic, misery filled piece (something along the lines of Mahler’s fifth.)
Went to bed at 10. DB2 awoke at 12:30am.
That’s not so bad, I hear you thinking. Hmm. What if I then added that he didn’t settle until 1:30am, regardless of desperate attempts to pacify him with stroking, bouncing, feeding, playing White noise (useful iPhone app, that one!) and generally moaning ‘oh for the love of god, please go to sleep’ etc etc.
Again, you’re probably thinking ‘that’s ok, there’s still plenty of the night left for sleeping!’.
He woke again at 2am. Then again at 4. Then 5:30am (giggling this time, as though very aware of how unfunny mummy was finding the general situation.)
The final wake up was awarded to DB1 though (who, as usual, had crawled loudly into our bed at 5:30am and proceeded to boot us both in the back for the remainder of the time) who promptly held his teddy aloft, in a similar pose to the statue of liberty, announced it was time to get up, then pushed the teddy’s backside into OH’s face, uttering the word ‘FART’ repeatedly. After the night I’d had, I was most relieved that it was OH being awarded the noxious gas release in the face (albeit imaginary) rather than me.
And then the day began in earnest. Christ, if I’d thought the night was bad, it had nothing on this morning.
Just to fill you in, myself and a dear friend (back in our beloved Exeter) have been setting up s business. We’ve lovingly poured our heart and soul (not to mention the frantic and sometimes highly comical juggling of child rearing, housework, cooking, cleaning etc) into making this venture work.
And then our website guy turns into a right bell end and refuses to answer any calls or emails for three weeks. When we are due to launch in a fortnight. Cue an insane flurry of panicked emails to web designers, pleas of help to family and friends and indeed anyone who could possibly help. Not to mention battling with a business phone that won’t pick up any signal (Virgin media- it’s Dorset, not outer Mongolia?) and trying to get stationery ordered in and as you can imagine, it’s one little stressed out me.
Add to this, a completely wasted journey to the health visitor (apparently it’s a ‘doctor thing’ not a health visitor thing. Tenner says the doctor tells me it’s a health visitor thing…) and a DB2 meltdown whilst trying to a) wade through the enormous piles of laundry we’ve amassed recently (OH is down to his fetching pants from Argentina with the logo ‘Latino’ printed round the top) and b) cook DB1 his lunch. Which typically, he nibbled the most infinitesimal little morsel of before proclaiming grandly that he was ‘all done’.
But now the boys must both be asleep, you must be thinking. Well, amazingly, despite some serious concerns about sleeping in his room with the ‘scary killer gorilla book’ (don’t even ask), DB1is snoozing.
Not so for DB2. Oh, he has his eyes closed alright. But his little 4 month mouth is pursed tightly and determinedly over my little finger, sucking on it like a vapid Dyson vacuum cleaner. He’s not giving it up either. As far as he’s concerned… It’s his.