First there was Batman and Robin. Then Starsky and Hutch. Then…well, then a few other infamous duos.

Then there was… Mr Bosey and Mr Woo! And their alter-egos, DB1 and DB2.

Now, there is a bit of history behind ‘Mr Bosey’. Mr Bosey first emerged into our consciousness when DB1, for seemingly no good reason at all, decided to announce on a cold rainy afternoon in Somerset, that he ‘wasnt Mr Bosey’. He announced this with much amusement and chortles, over and over again. For most of the journey home in fact.

Of course, little did we know it at the time, but that was our first clue. A true hero or crime fighter never reveals his true identity. Probably Peter Parker himself was once heard chanting similar things in the back of his parents (or was it aunt and uncle?) car, tittering with laughter every time he claimed ‘I’M NOT SPIDERMAN!’. it was all a cunning ruse from our son, to throw us off his (at times fairly malodorous) scent.

Since then, Mr Bosey has been occasionally referred to in passing, though always, DB1 vehemently denies his identity as this mysterious character, sometimes getting really quite upset if we dare suggest that he is Mr Bosey. Until today. Today is obviously the grand unveiling of the heroic DBs and their hidden personalities. DB1 adopted Bosey for himself, then informed me, with severity, as though daring me to laugh, that Db2, drooling on the carpet at the time, was in fact, none other than…Mr Woo.

Mr Bosey and Mr Woo. I knew it. I knew they were plotting something when my back was turned. I instantly had images of the two of them donning shiny leotards and flowing capes as soon as the bedtime stories were read, and going out to do good amongst the community and fight the crime of our town. Probably, given the nature of our town, they are about qualified to deal with the level of wrongdoing, which judging by the local rag, seems mostly to consist of people nicking other people’s rhubarb and getting cross about weeds not being removed by the council. I bet they even have an underground lair, where they have all their latest gadgets, like a teddy bear with laser shooting eyes, or a Lego man that was really a hand grenade.

Hmm. Or of course, and probably more realistically, they are just a bit odd. Just like their parents.

Even now, DB1 is racing round the lounge, muttering ‘Bosey’ repeatedly under his breath. And DB2 gave his verdict on the situation by puking down his cardigan and rubbing it into the sofa. Cheers Mr Woo. Thanks very much.

And as I go to get a cloth, whilst also successfully navigating a path through about a hundred plastic animals on the floor, and also answering a phone call and scooping DB2 up before he rubbed the offending vomit anywhere else on his person, I realised that the true super hero of re house is BLOODY ME!