Wayward is the word I would use to describe our second born.

This is actually me being quite charitable.

Now, of course, we think the sun shines right out of his…eyes. He is adorable, cuddly, mischievous and an overall scrummy little chap.

HOWEVER.

Sometimes, he can be a bit of a handful.

Today was one of those ‘handful’ days. DB2 roused us at midnight, commencing a real ‘night of fun’ with howling, thrashing, hitting and all the rest of the nocturnal sensory assualts that he delivered upon our persons in the wee small hours. We nodded off again around 1 o clock, only to be woken again at 4am. So you can well imagine how magical OH and I were feeling, come 7am this morning.

The ‘handful’ day continued as DB2 set about his usual route of destruction through the house; laying waste to toys, books, furniture and other people. However, nothing unusual there. Seldom does a day go past where DB2 doesn’t wreck something or other.

The high point of the day was definitely toddler group though. Bless the good people of the Baptist Church. They had laid out a truly magnificent spread of goodies for the wee small people to enjoy, and the grand finale was a lovely little nativity play on the stage in the main hall, while all of us gathered round on cushions and chairs to enjoy.

Of course, as I’m sure you gathered by now, it didn’t pan out this way. Imagine this scene if you will. The sweetness of a little girl and boy, tenderly cradling a dressed up dolly over a manger, with other cute little girls and boys dressed up in tea cloths and foil shapes, as shepherds and stars. Imagine all the other little girls and boys – all sitting wonderfully on their cushions, gazing up at the scene above them. Even the babies, crawling contentedly across the floor. EVEN the smaller toddlers, curled up on their mother’s laps, sucking their thumbs and eagerly taking it all in.

Then imagine one solitary 18 month old. Whirling through the audience like a 3ft tornado. Tripping over the cushions and bellowing loudly. Walking into children. Picking up spare cushions and trying to remove them from the room.

Doesn’t sound too bad? It gets better.

Then, imagine this mini beast of destruction, in an impressively swift and cunning manoevere, mounting the stage himself, and racing headlong into the scene. Imagine the confusion of ‘mini Mary’ and ‘mini Joseph’ as their newborn child is snatched roughly from their hands, and then thrown off the stage.

Yes. DB2 threw baby Jesus off the stage.

But wait. IT GETS BETTER.

Imagine one red faced mother (er, yes, me.) trying to grasp him off the stage, as he then pelts away to the furthest corner, laughing. And then starts to pluck all the baubles from the Christmas tree, sending showers of pine needles across the floor.

Imagine then, this same mother HAVING TO CLIMB THE STAGE HERSELF to retrieve him, in front of a sea of, quite frankly, a bit horrified parents, and then trying to drag him out the room. Except of course, DB2 didn’t want to leave. He was having too much fun! So he HOWLED. He HOWLED AND HOWLED and HOWLED.

I couldnt even leave the premises to keep him quiet, as they were cleaning up outside, and indicated I had to remain in the room. So I had to stand at the back, face glowing with embarrassment, as he continued to screech all through the rest of the story (god I felt so sorry for the poor woman, trying to narrate the story of the ‘peace settling over the barn’ as DB2 created the most awful cacophony of noise imaginable from the corner…) and then continued in the same vein through the prayer at the end.

I was not a popular woman at toddler group today, I could tell…

An artists represenation of DB2’s systematic desctruction of the nativity.

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