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Don’t get me wrong; I’m not moaning about my figure. Given that my stomach got stretched to the same proportions as a space hopper, on no less than two occasions, for the most part, I can live with the mild flabbiness.

However, when someone presents a diet to me that sounds intriguing and a bit of a challenge, I will admit, my interest is piqued.

When my business partner initially started talking about The Fast Diet, I will admit I was initially sceptical.

The premise behind the diet sounded implausibly and misleadingly simple. Simply eat normally for 5 days of the week, then fast for 2. As in, only 500 calories during those days.

However, as I stated before, I like a good challenge, so after reading up on it a bit and checking it wasn’t dangerous or anything, I decided to go for it.

So, here we are at Day 1. The first fast day…

In the morning, I forgot I was going to do it, and merrily wolfed down a big bowl of cereal. Fortunately only bran flakes and thus not too calorific. But still nearly half my daily allowance, porked down before the clock had even struck 7am. Shit.

Luckily, it kept hunger away for a large portion of the day. Lunch was a cream cracker, as I found that I genuinely didn’t feel hungry which was a pleasant surprise.

However, at around 4pm, I started to feel very very peckish indeed. In despair, I caved and reached for another cream cracker, and morosely ate it on the backdoor step with DB2. Damn it. That’s only 200 calories left til bedtime.

The boys were catastrophically stressful until their night-time. I inform you of this to thus explain away my rationale for the following diet decision, which was, as soon as their little heads hit their pillows, to gallop downstairs for a glass of wine.

Hmm. 100 calories left to have dinner with. My heart was very much sinking at this point. Booze was not a good idea.

Two more cream crackers and a chocolate later, and I was feeling very grumpy and put out.

Not a great start. Next fast day (and yes, I do intend to continue) I will actually plan it out properly, rather than relying on crackers and alcohol. Silly me!