Do you remember the days, before kids, when you went away on a short weekend break?
You’d spend the week before dreaming happily of your nice, relaxing break, no doubt filled with lots of romantic activities (ahem) and all sorts of indulgent treats; sunset walks, eating in posh restuarants, picnics on the beach etc etc.
The morning of your departure, you’d casually throw a few things in a small suitcase, then make your way calmly to the car; feeling on top of the world.
‘Gee, I love you baby! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and life is perfect!’
THEN YOU HAVE CHILDREN.
All of a sudden, the week before becomes a week of DREAD. Long lists start appearing round the house, of things required for the two days away; an endless, frightening list of toys, cots, snacks, clothes to take in case it rains, clothes to take in case the sun shines, clothes in case a freak hurricane blows into the neighbourhood (that one was a joke by the way. But only just.)
The kids start to develop a sinister sixth sense about it all, and make it their sole business to ensure they are as naughty as humanly possible. On the day before departure, suitcases – and I am very much talking in the ridiculous plural here, get packed haphazardly, only to be pulled apart five minutes later via one or both of your offspring. The next hour is then spent retrieving hairdryers and make up from under the bed, and knickers from in the bath. (yes, seriously.)
Incidentally – the threat of ‘we’re not going on holiday if you don’t start behaving’ has zero impact when your intelligent nearly 4 year old and your bonkers nearly 2 year old can quite clearly see you still packing. That was my lesson learnt for today. Nothing stings a parent quite so badly as the horrible knowledge of knowing they’ve just issued a completely pointless threat.
Still – at least it will be a break. She says. Famous last words.
On another note – the Fast Diet is still a definite winner. Yesterday’s fast day was barely a problem at all, I didn’t really feel hungry, even at the end of the day. Plus, I still have lots of energy, which is bliss. I cannot emphasise how long I’ve had zero energy for, so it is such a welcome change to actually feel like I can do stuff without wanting to collapse in a dishevelled, depressed heap in a corner!