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Ugh. I loathe flat pack furniture.

Now, before I hear a chorus of ‘but its better for the environment, less packaging, less waste etc etc’; yes, I do appreciate that. I’m a passionate eco-warrior myself (well, sort of) and I went through the whole ‘using cloth nappies, even though they leaked every ten minutes’ thing for TWO YEARS. Seriously, I was dedicated, even in the face of adversity. I’ve proven my worth.

However, there is some rebellious part of me that rebels against flat pack furniture.

And today, I was presented with my nemesis. The ultimate in horrific, god-awful flat pack furniture. A bunk bed. (not even a simple bunk bed either. No no. We went the whole hog and ordered one with an EXTRA trundle bed underneath AND drawers. Gluttons for punishment, that’s what we are.)

It seriously did not aid the situation when the delivery man turned up with one HUGE box; far too sizeable to fit through the front door; dumped it on the pavement, then drove off. Poor OH had to leap outside, armed with a kitchen knife, gazing furtively up and down the street like a jungle tribesman, scanning the terrain for enemies.

Yes, I admit, myself and my business partner proceeded to watch with amusement from the lounge window, as he attempted to hack into it, with little success. Eventually, I went outside and helped. But only eventually.

Things were not helped either by having to carry every single sodding component separately up the stairs. This process wasn’t endearing me to the whole thing at all.

I then fished out the instructions (you know that moment, you know what I’m talking about, fellow sufferers) and gazed, with rising panic, at the incomprehensible instructions and completely meaningless diagrams which didn’t tally up to the items in front of me at all. The bunk bed came from Poland too – so you can imagine the sort of language on this document. There were a few words going through my brain at this point. The main one though, was SHIT. Oh Bother. That was it. Oh bother. Ahem.

I’ve not progressed further than counting the screws out yet. And yes, you guessed it, there is one missing. One of the big ones too – one of the ones that looks as though its a seriously weight bearing screw, without which the whole bunk might come crashing down. Hmm. I’ll keep you updated.

On a completely different subject matter – DB2 is talking! I know, I know, not that exciting for anyone else apart from the parents of DB2, but none the less, I shall bore you with it. Briefly. I had forgotten how cute it was when they learn to speak! Except he does rather overuse the phrase ‘Hello Mummy’. Every time he enters the room – ‘hello mummy’. Every time he walks past me, ‘hello mummy’. Every time I attempt to sneak off to use the loo, the door swings open, and there I hear it again. ‘Hello Mummy!’

And of course – the fasting thing. (this seems to be what everyone really wants to hear about. I think all the rest is just considered as waffle by most, which is of course, entirely correct.)

Fasting thing is now in its 4th week (I think!) and results are still impressive! The weight loss total is 8lb – I think I’m plateauing out now, but that is cool, as I’m none too heavy really, and too much weight-loss on a lady over 30 is NOT a good look. Less heroin-chic, more rancid old mutton.

I still feel like a totally different person in terms of energy and positivity; and yes, I do still totally pig out on rubbish on my non fasting days. I think that’s what I really like about this diet – I can see myself still doing it in several years time, as just a way of life, much like my vegetarianism. Because its just not really a hardship at all. On the evening of a fast, I d get a bit peckish, and yearn for a big old bar of chocolate; but its easy to resist, because I know I can tuck in the day after!

However, someone recently said to me they weren’t feeling the benefits of the energy at all yet – which maybe proves that this is something that doesn’t work for everyone. My business partner has also stopped doing it now, as she felt worse on it. So I feel I should report this as well – as it wouldn’t be fair to make out its a miracle cure when some others have not had positive experiences on it.

BUT – there are plenty of ladies I know who are doing it, and loving it. It’s nice to know lots of people doing it, for the moral support and also to share low cal recipes!